My biggest piece of advice for a first time parent is to find your tribe. Tribe - cliquey AF right?
Now, I've not really been apart of 'tribe' since school, I have different pockets of friends and it works for me. What I love the most about my friendships is that they cross over and my different friends mix together perfectly, I might have pockets, but my friends all have very similar qualities.
When I found out that I was cooking Rudi I realised quite quickly that for me it was a priority to find baby friends, I didn't want to feel alone, become isolated or resent that I had no life beyond motherhood. I knew that they wouldn't just land on my lap, so I went in search of them, scary but totally worth it. I started a pregnancy yoga class which, if I'm honest, was more about napping and complaining about how shite we all felt, I LOVED that hour that I got once a week. Our babies started to arrive and I honestly don't think that any of us expected for our friendship to develop into what it has. I have a full on dog lump** writing that because those beautiful women have been the key to my survival. They just get it, they get me! Our babies are the same age, we're usually up at the same times on whatsapp; the same trials, the same tribulations. We laugh, we cry, we watch our babies grow up together. We are incredibly lucky and I knew without them that I would have gone completely batshit crazy. They saved me and maybe I saved them?!
Our friendship is strong. We are honest. No topic off limits... literally nothing! Our friendship allows me to see that I'm a good Mama, it allows me to know that I'm a good friend and that I am enough. The thing about friendship is that you have to nurture and care for it, you get out of it what you put into it. We're three years into our hot mums (whatsapp group name) friendship, we have grown, we have changed, we've added sisters and old friends and I think that's what a tribe should be about. A tribe doesn't need to be cliquey and mean. Be open to change and allow for growth, you won't always get on with everybody or have the same opinions, but be kind.
In the past three years I have gained two boy humans, 15 other small humans that I beyond love and I have found 7 inspirational women that will be a part of my life for a really long time, hopefully forever.
If you're just starting your journey into motherhood and you're worried about being alone or feeling that bite of loneliness then get on to the internet and research your local baby groups. I'm pretty bloody certain that you wont be the only one that's feeling the pressure of motherhood, that's tired AF or feeling isolated. Why not go in search of that 'gem' of a friend that you just can't live without?!
**Dog Lump - A very technical term for when you become emotional and get that lump in your throat, some might compare it to the lump that you get when watching adverts about homeless dogs.
Mama Roo And Boy