How? How has this year gone so quickly? I still remember the day I gave birth and how I planned to have a vaginal birth but ended up with an emergency c-section.
I remember wondering how I was going to accept my body after seeing the scar and how bad it was. The wire in my tummy. The pain and uncertainty of not knowing if I’d be able to have another.
I also remember the feelings of joy and pride when I held my daughter for the first time. A little bit of me and my best friend. How perfect!
Cailyn is now 11 months old and to be honest I’m all emotional at the moment; seeing her stand, take steps, dance and copy things that we are doing. Her laugh is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. Her smile melts my heart and on a bad day she just needs to look at me with those big blue eyes and all the stress goes away!
Having a c-section doesn’t make you any less of a mother. I really hate it when I see people writing things like 'it’s the easy way out'. You put your own life on the line for your child. I’d say that’s far from easy, for you or your family. I struggle so much accepting the appearance of my scar, having no feeling other than the stabbing pain from nerve damage that comes out of nowhere. The most BEAUTIFUL girl came out of that scar but yet, I hate it. Funny that.
I watch her every day, doing yoga poses, the funny laughable things she copies off the TV, the dancing and squeals. The sense of pride, love and happiness that comes over us both. How can she possibly be one month away from being a one year old? All I ask is that she stays young and has the best childhood - let them be little!